I Don't Like You Either

Snark O' the Day: Roy Edroso's Top Stupid Wingnut Moments for 2008

Roy Edroso posts his "top 10 stupid right-blogger tricks" for 2008 at The Village Voice.  An excerpt:

Pop stars made a video for Obama and the American Spectator compared it to Triumph of the Will. National Review called Obama's national service plan the "Obama Youth." Obama spoke in Germany, and Melissa Clouthier compared his signage to that of the Third Reich.

Jonah Goldberg said liberals only liked Obama because they didn't know any real (that is, poor and dangerous) black people; Taranto said Democrats were intimidated into nominating him, as an old lady might be intimidated into surrendering her purse to a mugger.

Snark O' the Day: How Much do Conservatives HATE AMERICA? Sadly, No! (& Its Commentariat) Attempts to Answer

All during the campaign we kept hearing from Sarah Palin that Obama and his supporters didn't think about America the same way she and the morons who voted for her aspire to think of it or give it the same blind love and loyalty that the wingnuts claim to give it.  In a way, this is true.  We think it's the duty of the citizen of a democracy to place democratic ideals before blind loyalty and that "tough love" is required to keep the country on the right path. 

Joel Stein, who---at least when writing in character--- is a conservative's idea of a liberal, may or may not understand this.   Affecting to speak for all liberals, he said:

Sure, we liberals claim that our love is deeper because we seek to improve the United States by pointing out its flaws. But calling your wife fat isn’t love. True love is the blind belief that your child is the smartest, cutest, most charming person in the world, one you would gladly die for. I’m more in ‘like’ with my country.”

Conservatives had a field day with this, ingenuously taking him at his word and assuming that he is infallible on the subject of liberalism and is appointed by all liberals to speak for them.  And so Clif at Sadly, No! thoughtfully compiled a list of all the things those America-lovin' wingnuts HATE HATE HATE!!!!! about their country.

A Wingnut Marital Aid: Dennis Prager Gives Holiday Sex Tips to Ladies Married to (A Seasonal Snarkfest!)

Yes, it was four days ago that we first tried to ignore this piece by Dennis Prager  [When a Woman Isn't in the Mood: Part I] because we have our own sex lives to think of and we can't afford to have Prager get all mixed up in those thoughts, but at last we decided we had a duty to ourselves to round up the best of the snark generated from Prager's cornucopia. 

It is, after all, a cornucopia filled with highly mockable phallacies (though we have our own thoughts about the "copia" part of the "cornu" in question).

Sadly, many of our favorite cruel bloggers didn't cover this because it came out on December 23.  (We can't WAIT for When a Woman Isn't in the Mood:  Part 2.)   Everyone can play!

Snark O' the Day: World O' Crap Reviews a Review Coulter's Latest [ Guilty]

Er, Coulter?  Ann Coulter?  Oh.  Yeah.  We remember Ann Coulter.

Ann’s wardrobe consists entirely of black cocktail dresses from ”Skanks ‘R Us.”  You know, the title of her book reminds me of that pretentious Calvin Klein perfume ad from the ’80’s with the slogan, “If obsession is a sin, let me be guilty.”  In Ann’s case, I guess the line would be, “If an obsession with demonizing half the country is a sin, let me be guilty, and then send me to Gitmo for the rest of my life.”  Ah, Coulter, the smell of it.  Smells like tobacco breath, stale gin, and desperation.

More Awards! GoLeft TV Chooses ALL of Fox News as "Media Moron of the Year" for the War on the "War" on Christmas

Via Video Cafe, this gift of seasonal awesomeness: 

Transcript is over here.

Department of Valedictions: This Final Christmas Under Bush, Give the Gift of Satire to a Fellow Progressive: "Songs of the Bushmen" by Harry Shearer

 Though it was nominated for a Grammy, we just don't think there's been nearly enough screaming about Harry Shearer's musical send-up of the Bush administration's main players.  If you've had all the peace and good will you can handle, you might enjoy a bit of black comedy, in diverse musical stylings. 

If you're looking for a last-minute Christmas gift for a progressive friend, we don't see how you could do better than this album (available at I-Tunes):

Department of Valedictions: Meanwhile, Kristol Waves a Fond Farewell to Cheney....

Cheney is a douchebag wrapped in an enigma and dipped in a mystery, but Bill Kristol is still just a douchebag.  Amazingly, Fox News viewers and others still listen to him, proving that what we suspected about them all along is TRUE.

From Think Progress, this delightful wingnuttery on the half-shell:

Department of ValeDICKtions: Dick Cheney---Going Out with a Growl, Not a Whimper

We're all caught up in holiday activities at the moment, but who could resist all these cherishable Cheney moments?  Certainly not us.   It's just the right time for the Anti-Claus!

As Jon Stewart has so rightly said, we don't know Dick.  Yes, he's still douchebag wrapped in an enigma and dipped in a  mystery! And---in the immortal words of the Turtles, c. 1960-something---the more we see, the more we see there is to see! 

So it seems Dick Cheney, Man of Mystery, had quite the little gabfest on Fox News:

WALLACE: Did you tell Senator Leahy, “bleep yourself”?

CHENEY: I did.

WALLACE: Any qualms, second thoughts, or embarrassment?

CHENEY: No, I thought he merited it at the time.... (Think Progress)

Dennis Prager Wants Minorities to Apologize for The Sins of Fellow Minorities

Apparently, in Prager's universe white Christians, especially white Christian males, are always apologizing.  Who knew? 

Prager thinks it's about time for minorities to "express shame."  Prager himself, as you can see, has none.  

Clif at Sadly, No! sees this one off in Town Hall of Shame.

Basically it appears that Prager thinks that individual members of minority groups should apologize for the bad things that other members of that group did which forced the majority to enact discriminatory laws against the entire minority group and then feel vaguely guilty years later for doing so....

Dept of Valedictions: It's Herbert Hoover Time! or, Even Dick Cheney is Sometimes Right

Via HuffPost:

Senate Republicans' dramatic revolt against a White House-backed auto industry rescue plan is fraught with political risk.

Olbermann: They're All the Worst Person in the World

Keith Olbermann hits "the conservative trifecta," says Danny Shea, with O'Reilly winning the gold medal, Hannity winning the silver, and Will coming in last with the bronze.

Rove & O'Reilly: The Dire Economy is Just a Media Ploy to Make Obama Look Better Than Bush

So...we can all stop worrying.  Santa Claus WILL come down your chimney as usual with his bag full of toys for your kids and a new job and a new mortgage for you!  There WILL be presents under your tree and a turkey dinner (with razzleberry dressing) on your table! 

Would Papa Bear or Karl Rove misrepresent the facts?

Think Progress has thoughtfully published a transcript:

Joe the Plumber Rips on McCain; Thinks Palin is "the Real Deal"

"Who in the what now?"  I hear you thinking.  "Joe the---oh, you mean this guy?"

No:  Joe.  JOE WURZELBACHER. Joe the Plumber?  McCain's pal?  Remember him?  Sure you do.  Big block-headed guy---claims to be a plumber--- summoned up out of obscurity by McCain during one of the debates?   Nothing? 

InstaSnark: Jeb Bush for Senator?

He did not actually get Florida involved in an illegal war.  But when you have said that, you have said it all.

Dept of Valedictions: Bush and the Plutocrats ("There Goes the Neighborhood")

As Bush prepares to move into his exclusive new neighborhood his neighbors are worried that his presence might disrupt their Way of Life.  Those neighbors include "former presidential candidate Ross Perot and Mark Cuban, the billionaire businessman and Dallas Mavericks owner" and some guy next door who just installed a "trout-filled lake" on his property.  (Raw Story)

Will Bush turn their American dream into a Bush administration-style nightmare?

The Pointlessness of Religionizing Politics

Among us are a couple of religious people---even one very religious person---and we all agree that when Jesus said "Give what belongs to Caesar to Caesar and what belongs to God to God", he was endorsing the view that mixing religion with politics just makes everyone mad.

John Cole has an excellent post on why citing God as your authority never really persuades anyone.

Dept of Valedictions: Rove Plans to Call Out Bush Haters in His New Book; PLUS!! Bonus Harry Shearer Music Video ("Rove" Sings "Turd Blossom Special")

We've been trying very hard not to think about the "Bush legacy project," since its very existence defies common sense, decency, geometry, and reality.  We're afraid of getting sucked into some GOP black hole of revisionism and coming out on the other side in a world like Camazotz in A Wrinkle in Time where everything is controlled by "Bush's Brain" and all the moms stay home, the dads all go to work, and everyone does everything in exactly the same way and at the same time, all the time. And (channeling Berke Breathed now) is compelled every Sunday to attend the Christianist Church of his or her choice (no Quakers on Bush World).

Why Do the Wingnuts Rage?

Roy Edroso has a theory:

As they're big on displacement, whenever some atrocity occurs wingers accuse liberals of showing insufficient outrage. It's not so much a policy prescription as an accusation of psychological unfitness because, though we agree that we would rather kill terrorists than let them kill us, we don't express it in blood-curdling howls...

Snark O' the Day: The Supremes to Consider the Obama Birth Certificate "Controversy

Bark Bark Woof Woof woofs about this glorious waste of taxpayer dollars in the interests of settling once and for all a "worrying" "issue":

The United States Supreme Court is going to decide whether or not to hear a case claiming that Barack Obama is not a U.S. citizen and therefore ineligible to serve as President of the United States...

This Just In: The RNC Spent More on Palin than You Made in the Three Years Before the Lay Off

They didn't exactly put it that way, but that's what it comes down to. 

It's getting kind of hard to keep track of all the numbers, but Politico seems to have done the math:

Snark O' the Day: Hey! Bush Said He Was Sorry!

From Jurassicpork at Brilliant at Breakfast (Don't Say He's a Sociopath):

On ABC tonight, George W. Bush said he was "sorry" that Americans are losing their jobs and watching their 401(k) plans get fiendishly rear-ended into the next 12 dimensions thanks to the throbbing fiscal phallus of Friedman and Laffey, free marketeers to whose semen- and feces-slathered altar knelt Harvard MBA George "Fuck Everyone Including the Shareholders" Bush like a love-lorn acolyte.

Dept of Valedictions: Bloggers on Bush on Bush

As DaveNoon says,  "I suppose everyone has a punch-the-wall-with-your-face moment in this interview."    The transcript is here.

The Rude Pundit nailed perfectly its most remarkable aspect.

Alaskan Gov. Sarah Palin Busy Stumping for Saxby Chambliss; Spokesman Says "State Business is Unaffected" by Her Absence

Man, Palin and her people don't give the political comics and satirists a chance, do they?  They're out there in the ring all the time, in clown make-up, orange wigs, and comical two-foot long shoes, falling off bitty little bicycles, sitting down on whoopee cushions, falling off the tight ropes, dancing with pink French poodles with ruffles round their necks, and using the safety net as their personal trampoline.   

Wingnuts in a Nutshell: Bill Kristol Solves Global Jihadism

Jihad's True Face

Nutshell version:  "Only patriotism, endless global warfare, racial profiling, and punishing the innocent along with the guilty, can save us from global jihad."

Though probably you will prefer TBogg's "shorter":

Chicago Tribune: Moderate White Supremacists Alarmed by Increase in Hate Crimes Since Obama's Election

Says so right in The Chicago Tribune: Hate Incidents in U.S. Surge.  Look:

"Even some white supremacist leaders who describe themselves as moderates say they are alarmed."

Walk Him Out in the Morning Dew: Bill O'Reilly's Valuable Opinion on Homeless Vets

From Scott at World O' Crap:

Bill O’Reilly, as you may recall, doesn’t believe that any homeless veterans exist in this country as a result of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.  Now this may seem to contradict observable reality, but you have to remember, this is Bill’s opinion, which is worth millions of dollars a year to FoxNews, thus making it one of the finest opinions that money can buy. 

Sadly, No! Appeteasers

"After following his work for a few years, it seems fair to say that Pastor Swank’s default discursive mode will soon be indistinguishable in tone from the ravings on a bottle of Dr. Bronner’s soap." (Gavin M., Happy Swanksgiving)

"Blatt is the kind of guy that, had he been born a turkey..., he would have spent his formative years dreaming of growing up to be a spokesman for Butterball.   (Clif,  The True Meaning of Thanksgiving)

"I don’t know about you, but I’d rather convert to Mormonism than attend a Republican punk rock concert or watch a conservative performance artist perform. And what would a conservative performance artist do exactly? Smear her chastely-clothed body in crude oil while chanting “Drill, Baby, Drill”?"  (Clif,  Young, Dumb, Hung, and Full of _____)

Walk Her Out in the Morning Dew This Morning: Peggy Noonan Looks for Signs of the Depression

The reason we started this blog is that when we read something like this ourselves, we can't think of anything to say. As Roy Edroso says:

It's like that scene in Post Office where Bukowski's finally had enough of that co-worker who's always muttering insults, and wheels on him only to realize that the guy is lost in a private fog and has no awareness of him or anything else around him. It takes a lot of the fight out of you.

SC Gov Laughs Merrily at the Idea of Palin as the GOP's Future

by Blue Stockings |  First, check out his opinion piece at Politico, where he mentions her along with other "quiet" GOP reformers busily enforcing those ends-in-themselves for the unreflecting "thinkers" of the GOP, small government and lower taxes. 

I am struck by how many of my colleagues around the country were quietly advancing the kinds of reforms and conservative principles that Washington politicians would do well to emulate.

Continue reading "SC Gov Laughs Merrily at the Idea of Palin as the GOP's Future" »

by Teh Puppet Mistress |

Before he Goes [Kristol]

Nutshell version:  Bush could perform a real service to me and other discredited neocons by (1) lying some more; and (2) pardoning the worst offenses of his minions so that no one connected with his administration can discredit us further.

Wingnuts in the Nutshell: William Kristol

by Teh Puppet Mistress |

Before he Goes [Kristol]

Nutshell version:  Bush could perform a real service to me and other discredited neocons by (1) lying some more; and (2) pardoning the worst offenses of his minions so that no one connected with his administration can discredit us further.