A Wingnut Marital Aid: Dennis Prager Gives Holiday Sex Tips to Ladies Married to (A Seasonal Snarkfest!)

Yes, it was four days ago that we first tried to ignore this piece by Dennis Prager  [When a Woman Isn't in the Mood: Part I] because we have our own sex lives to think of and we can't afford to have Prager get all mixed up in those thoughts, but at last we decided we had a duty to ourselves to round up the best of the snark generated from Prager's cornucopia. 

It is, after all, a cornucopia filled with highly mockable phallacies (though we have our own thoughts about the "copia" part of the "cornu" in question).

Sadly, many of our favorite cruel bloggers didn't cover this because it came out on December 23.  (We can't WAIT for When a Woman Isn't in the Mood:  Part 2.)   Everyone can play!

Even so, plenty of other delightful bloggers put their, er, oars in.

Maggie's Farm framed the issue:

Apparently some, or many, women do not always fully appreciate what a special, deeply emotional (yet also physical) gift we sensitive fellows are offering to share with themwhen we seek their attention.

Lindsay Beyerstein sums up the gist of Prager's response at Majikthise:

Prager's latest essay is the equivalent of the "blue balls" claim for old married guys....

[F]or long-term relationshps, Prager suggests a three-pronged rhetorical strategy: A wife must give her husband sex whenever he wants because i) God and nature say so, ii) He's already a hero for not cheating on her (and heroes are entitled to extort anything they want from anyone), iii) How else will he know she loves him?

Unlike some of those who commented, we didn't think Prager was advocating marital rape.  We thought instead that he was advocating old-fashioned sexual blackmail, via a regular application of guilt intended to induce anxiety, so that the wingnut wife who for whatever reason isn't feeling quite up to it will know in her heart that her failure to reciprocate lust with---what's that word? oh yeah: submission----may end up driving her self-pitying, phallocentric husbands into the arms of other, more compliant women and she will have nobody to blame but herself.

Jesse at Pandagon said:

Well, perhaps it’s a part of this newfangled sexual revomalution that we’re all on the front lines of, but most husbands I know understand their wives’ love for them through other means than the percentage of their penises in their wives’ bodies.  I sincerely hope that if I am married one day, and my wife is in bed with the flu, that I don’t consider it grounds for divorce because she’s too busy trying to stop the chills to do reverse cowgirl - the obvious position for illness, because who wants to look at her clammy, pallid face when she’s sick?....

Here’s an idea: talk.  Your wife isn’t denying your sexual nature - she’s denying you sex.  I’m pretty sure that your wife isn’t living in some Puritanical bubble where she recites Psalms while you visit your male nature upon her, shocked back to reality after you roll off of her and fall asleep and she realizes she has yet to start the stock for tomorrow’s stew.  In general, if your wife is constantly denying you sex, she either has a personal issue which it probably behooves you to stop being horny long enough to think about, or she has a personal issue with you that it really behooves you to stop being horny long enough to think about....

Dennis Prager is divorced.  I hope that revelation just ROCKED YOUR FUCKING WORLD.  Is it rocked?  Because I hope I rocked it.  I’ve been working on my rockage of worlds.

Next, Megan at Jezebel, wonderly wroth!

[L]adies? Your husband could be regularly having sex with other women [Ed.: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA] so it's your solemn duty to shut up, lie down and spread them whenever he wants to thank him for that daily, nay, hourly sacrifice of not fucking other people like he promised to do "for richer and for poorer and in sickness and in health." Otherwise, you know...

Deny him enough times and he may try to fill this need with another woman.

Gosh, it must be so much fun to be married to Dennis Prager...Guess that's why he's been divorced twice.

Blue Texan can be so harsh:

Unlike Dennis, I've only been married to one woman and never divorced, so my insights on women and marriage are obviously inferior to his. But with my limited perspective, I've carefully come to the conclusion that he's a sexist neanderthal asshole who deserves to die alone.

Vermontdave at Newshounds marvelled:

This is so fucked up and over the top that it must be satire.

Pamela Troy at ThoughtCrimes said:

We do not want to know what prompted Prager to write this three part dissertation on the merits of marital rape.

The Mahablog:

For the dim, e.g., righties: At no point does Mr. Prager even consider talking to the Mrs. about why she’s not “in the mood” or wonder if there’s something he’s doing to kill “the mood.” Apparently he thinks being “not in the mood” is just a female thing. Well, in his case, I suspect it would be a female thing. Or a human thing, for that matter.

Is there a Mrs. Prager? Call me, girl. We’ll talk.Believe me, if you’re not in the mood a lot, I can certainly see why.

MGK at Mightygodking said:

I want to mock this, but I am simply too amazed to know where to start.

Actually, no, wait. I do know where to start. Here is a picture of Dennis Prager....

It is clear...Dennis Prager knows all too well the trauma of being turned down....Oh, the humanity!

Mark Kleiman said:

I think I'm willing to assert that wanting to have sex with someone who doesn't want to have sex with you is perverted. By "wanting" I don't mean fantasizing about it, or imagining that the object of your fantasy has a a change of heart, but wanting to actually have sex with an unwilling partner: someone who consents, if at all, for some extrinsic reason. As a friend of mine once said about dentists who take advantage of patients under anaesthesia: "That's not sex; it's just friction."

Jeff Fecke concurs:

Prager weakly argues that mood shouldn’t enter into the consideration; that’s insane. I’m sorry, but again and again, I come back to the basic fact that sex is, at heart, a mutually pleasurable activity. If it’s not mutually pleasurable, it’s not sex. It’s masturbation, or rape, or a combination of the two.

IOZ had the best one-liner:  " Yo Denny, women like to fuck if it's good."

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Prager's latest essay is the equivalent of the "blue balls" claim for old married guys....

[F]or long-term relationshps, Prager suggests a three-pronged rhetorical strategy: A wife must give her husband sex whenever he wants because i) God and nature say so, ii) He's already a hero for not cheating on her (and heroes are entitled to extort anything they want from anyone), iii) How else will he know she loves him?

Unlike some of those who commented, we didn't think Prager was advocating marital rape.  We thought instead that he was advocating old-fashioned sexual blackmail, via a regular application of guilt intended to induce anxiety, so that the wingnut wife who for whatever reason isn't feeling quite up to it will know in her heart that her failure to reciprocate lust with---what's that word? oh yeah: submission----may end up driving her self-pitying, phallocentric husbands into the arms of other, more compliant women and she will have nobody to blame but herself.

Comments

[Thomas]

First I must make a statement about the comments above. I really feel sorry for you, you do not understand that Dennis is discussing a difficult issue for many marriages and all you are able to do is attack Dennis with vile language.

I would guess that only a minority of people who posted a thread at this site DID read the article (Parts I & II), is that correct? For all of you who didn't read the article, you might want to read the following:

At the end of Part I Dennis states the following:

"I conclude Part I with this clarification: Everything written here applies under two conditions: 1. The woman is married to a good man. 2. She wants him to be a happy husband. If either condition is not present, nothing written here matters. But if you are a woman who loves your husband, what is written here can be the most important thing you will read concerning your marriage. Because chances are the man you love won't tell you."

At the end of Part II he states the following:

"If her husband is a decent man -- if he is not, nothing written here applies -- a woman will be rewarded many times over outside the bedroom (and if her man is smart, inside the bedroom as well) with a happy, open, grateful, loving, and faithful husband. That is a prospect that should get any rational woman into the mood more often."

I don't think any RATIONAL THINKING human can say that Dennis is a nut or dingbat after reading his article, both parts. When I come home after working a 10-12 hour day (after dealing with clients and tenants) I would rather do anything than help with house work but I do. I do it because I love and cherish my wife (and family) and want to help her and make her happy. I just ask everyone to read the articles for themselves and form their own opinion. Thank you and God Bless Ya'll from Texas.

[Agnis Franklin]

Interesting.

[generic viagra]

hello, I love reading about things that speak of marriage as it is a subject of much controversy, I thank them for sharing information is very good, thanks!

[SexToyRick]

im down with having sex anytime .. why women arent on the same page ?