Maureen Dowd on Sarah Palin: Fan Fic for Mean Girls (Continued)

by Damozel | See also:  But I'm a Frenemy Toooo

Vice in Go-Go Boots?

Campaign Trail Fan Fic for Mean Girls (nutshell version):  John McCain's pick of a beautiful, quirky, untested, unqualified beauty queen to be his running mate has totally preempted the script I'm currently writing for a Lifetime Original Movie (in which the presidential contender chooses a beautiful, quirky, untested, unqualified columnist to be his running mate and then chokes on a pretzel, after which she becomes the true American idol.)  I am seriously displeased. 

Did he think I was going to let that go?  I'm not going to let that go.

If there's anything that could make me like Sarah Palin, it's the way in which her emergence has enraged Dowd.  Much as she might decry Obama and Hillary, Dowd can't quite choke down this bitter little pill without letting some of the ire drip from her poisoned pen.

So infuriated is she that she seems to have forgotten---along with the entire far right--- that Sarah ain't running against Obama for president:

It’s easy to see where this movie is going. It begins, of course, with a cute, cool unknown from Alaska who has never even been on “Meet the Press” triumphing over a cute, cool unknowable from Hawaii who has been on “Meet the Press” a lot.

Americans, suspicious that the Obamas have benefited from affirmative action without being properly grateful, and skeptical that Michelle really likes “The Brady Bunch” and “The Dick Van Dyke Show,” reject the 47-year-old black contender as too uppity and untested.

Um.....

Anyway:  unlike Molly Ivors, I'm happy to parse through this piece.  Here are some of the poisoned stilettos Dowd plants in Sarah's back:

• vacuously spunky and generically sassy chick flick
• her thin résumé and gaping absence of foreign policy knowledge
• an underqualified “babe,” as Rush Limbaugh calls her
• fun, bantamweight cheerleaders from the West, like the previous Miss Congeniality types Dan Quayle and W
• she was tougher on the basketball court than the ethereal Obama, earning the nickname “Sarah Barracuda”
• refreshingly cynical choice of Sarah
• spunky, relentlessly quirky “Northern Exposure” story
• a Miss Alaska runner-up...Miss Congeniality
• a zealot, but....a fun zealot
• beehive and sexy shoes
• the day she’s named she goes shopping with McCain in Ohio for a cheerleader outfit for her daughter
• two-year governor of an oversized igloo

We even get a scene straight from MoDo's Lifetime Original, which ends up in one of MoDo's typical reverse moves as a paean to the ongoing belief of the members of the GOP base (and Maureen Dowd herself) that anybody can do anything, even step into the shoes of the President of the United States:

It former beauty queen shaking out her pinned-up hair, taking off her glasses, slipping on ruby red peep-toe platform heels that reveal a pink French-style pedicure, and facing down Vladimir Putin in an island in the Bering Strait. Putting away her breast pump, she points her rifle and informs him frostily that she has some expertise in Russia because it’s close to Alaska. “Back off, Commie dude,” she says. “I’m a much better shot than Cheney.”  (NYT)

But I do like MoDo's snarky dig at Sarah's de-glamorizing tips:

[S]he’s learned the hard way to deal with press comments about her looks. “I wish they’d stick with the issues instead of discussing my black go-go boots,” she said. “A reporter once asked me about it during the campaign, and I assured him I was trying to be as frumpy as I could by wearing my hair on top of my head and these schoolmarm glasses.”(NYT)

Note to Sarah:  No "go-go boots" while campaigning for the presidency.  MoDo and I will mock you relentlessly for different reasons. I, for example, will mock you because you called them "go-go" boots.

But amid all this Dowd does pause---this is so MoDo---spang in the middle of all this stropping of her claws to wonder, and in parentheses:

(Why do men only pick women as running mates when they need a Hail Mary pass? It’s a little insulting.) (NYT)

At Whiskey Fire, Molly Ivors rips into her as she deserves for this.  I can't improve on Ivors' remarks, so here goes:

This from Dowd, who has spent, conservatively, the better part of the last year explaining to us why a competent woman is a dominatrix wielding a whip, why women only succeed because they've been wronged by men, why women who continue fighting primaries when they're garnering votes are "emasculating" and "suffocating."

If women have been delegitimized as political figures in their own rights, Mo, look in the fucking mirror and your own archives(NYT).

The drawback is that it  won't work.  I imagine that when MoDo looks in the mirror, all she sees is her own face telling her:  "There are some, Fair Dowd and eternal runner-up, better loved than you."

As for Palin, Taylor Marsh sums her up as follows:  "If Sarah Palin was a man being nominated for vice president she would be laughed out of politics and so would John McCain."

Can't get enough MoDo?  Check out her most recent dissings of Palin here!

Memeorandum has more here.

BN-Politics MoDo Watch:

And Maureen Dowd  Knows About Making It All About Yourself

Maureen Dowd, the Redemptive Power of Misfortune, and John McCain

Maureen Dowd:  Two Against the One

And Maureen Dowd Knows Narcissism

Maureen Dowd Talks out of her ... Ear Again

Maureen Dowd Luuuurves Obama:  The Saga Continues

Has Maureen Dowd Got a Big Swoony High School Crush on Obama?

New Yorker Cover: Maureen Dowd Gets it Right (Sort of)

Obama's Adventures Among the Working Classes

Maureen Dowd's Vicious Attack on Hillary:  Internalized Misogyny or Something Much More Basic?

Comments

[christian louboutin]

It's so lucky for me to find your blog! So shocking and great! Just one suggestion: It will be better and easier to follow if your blog can offer rrs subscription service.

[Cheap Jordans]

luckily to enter your blog and read your article. I have lots of feeling after sharing your blog. Of course, i also welcome you can come to my website. Good luck! Thank you!

[Jordans 1 Phat Low]

I can’t say enough good things about this shoe, whether you are traveling or reside in a warmer climate, check them out. They are the shoe equivalent to the little black dress.
by Jordans 1 Phat Low

[Gucci Shoes]

This post really had me thinking about this particular issue in way I havent before. Its something I do believe we need to talk about more. Thankyou.

[Replica jerseys]

Your brides always have the most amazing dresses. You captured some really great moments.

[jason]

This blog is fantastic.I would like to introduce this nice website to my friends

[ugg canada]

Good article, and nice blog on !, I will come back again to read more about . Its worthy as well as very important information that gives insight on this subject. You are doing great job to sharing it.

[gucci shoes]

The information you provide must for some people is very important, I am also very interested in this content, thank you! I've always been concerned about your article, the content of this course, I may have different views, but the information you provide is very helpful for me, I always support you, yes, I have been doing.

[Steelers jerseys]

Thankyou for a very entertaining and enlightening piece. It definitly opened my eyes to allot of things I had not thought of before.

[vintage car restoration]

That explains it all i see.