Alberto Gonzalez Promises a "Tell-All" Book, Though He Still Can't Remember Doing Anything Wrong

by Damozel |   Larisa Alexandrovna sums up the problem for Gonzo:  "So either he lied under oath about not recalling anything or his entire book will be a lie."  Otherwise, as Jonathan Stein remarks, it will be the shortest tell-all memoir in the history of the world. Perhaps that's why he's having trouble finding a publisher.

In the last 16 months---has it really been that long since we waved our unfond farewells to Gonzalez?  Why yes it has, though it seems like only yesterday---Gonzalez has been frustrated by being portrayed, in his words, "as the one who is evil in formulating policies that people disagree with."

His own view of himself is different.  He views himself as "a casualty, one of the many casualties of the war on terror."  The Wall Street Murdoch has the full story.

At Lawyers, Guns, & Money, Robert Farley says:

I can think of 4537 people who might dispute that characterization. And 1042 other people.    And these other 2998 people. Oh, and the three quarters of a million dead Iraqis, untold dead Afghanis, uncounted dead Somalis and all the others that might think that Alberto Gonzales isn't actually a casualty of the War on Terror.

Bush administration alumni--always playing the victim. 

But in fact,  Gonzo seems to have fallen on hard times.  After all, who wants a tell-all book by someone with his memory problems?

[H]e can't find a job. Gonzales has had trouble getting employment since resigning from the Justice Department. In July, he suddenly began appearing in D.C. again after months of absence -- leading the Washington Post to speculate that he had landed a gig.  (HuffPost)

Perhaps he's shown up like Banquo's ghost to discuss this little question of Bush's legacy with the man himself on the theory that Bush might remember his obligations.  Who can tell?

Wonkette:

During his tenure in office, George Bush created more than a housing bubble: he also fostered an “employment bubble” for high-functioning idiots, who were awarded fancy jobs in his administration and have since departed in shame and ignominy. Exhibit A: the hapless cretin, unemployed loser, and only Bush administration toady not to get a zillion dollars for his tell-all autobiography, Alberto Gonzales.

In a SHOCKING INTERVIEW, Gonzales revealed that he is, in fact, capable of human emotions such as remorse and pity, so long as they’re for himself....

Krugman:

There has to be some word for the kind of person who considers his mild discomfort the equivalent of torture, crippling injury, or death for other people. But I can’t think of it....

This reminded me of Laura Bush’s remark on carnage in Iraq:

And believe me, no one suffers more than their president and I do when we watch this.

Remember this. And remember, too, that for long years these people were considered...defenders of the nation.

Well, not by me or you or Krugman himself, of course.  But we all understand who the people are who considered them that.

At Crooks & Liars, Jon Perr said,

During April 2007 Senate testimony about his role in the purge of U.S. attorneys, Alberto Gonzales famously explained, "that I don't recall remembering." Now comes word that the former Attorney General is writing a tell-nothing memoir designed to salvage his irreparably damaged reputation. Judging from his interview today in the Wall Street Journal, Gonzales has rediscovered his memory, if not the truth.

Gonzales' self-serving historical revisionism when it comes to rubber-stamping President Bush's illegal NSA domestic surveillance, authorizing the torture of terror detainees and sacking of prosecutors for political purposes begins in jaw-dropping fashion. Complaining to the Journal about the scorn and derision heaped upon him, Gonzales whined:

"What is it that I did that is so fundamentally wrong, that deserves this kind of response to my service?"  (emphasis added)

I don't know; looks to me as if her still "cannot recall."  But Perr goes over some of the parts Gonzalez seems to have forgotten or forgotten again, if in fact Gonzalez really doesn't know and really can't understand.

But setting aside the self-pity and distortions of reality (which some unsympathetic people might call "lying"), how is it possible he has a book in him? 

After all, Gonzales is the guy who went before the Senate Judiciary Committee to answer questions about the U.S. Attorneys scandal and managed to utter the words "I don't recall" 64 times in five hours.   

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The Heretik has an artistic tribute to the martyr Saint Gonzalez. 

Ah, the humanity!

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