Best O' Wingnut Douchebaggery 2008: Vote Now for the Year's Greatest Smears (& Blots); Bonus Poll: Vote for Your Favorite Right-Wing Loathly Hag

by Teh Nutroots | Which wingnut nominee should win these coveted awards from The Poor Man's Institute?

Chickenhawk of the Year:

We are talking about rhetorical courage, the puffed-chest bravado and keyboard-rattling grandiloquence from which true heros are made.  Whether they are warning off the Moorish hordes, threatening to start a civil war if they don’t get their way, fearlessly yelling racial slurs from behind a pseudonym on the internet, or steadfastly proclaiming their indomitable will to continue blabbing on about all the super-butch things they’d do if only they hadn’t already made plans to play Starcraft, these Warriors of Words are truly our last line of defense against not having to listen to them.(The Poor Man)

The Fluffy ("most disgusting, worshipful defense of powerful wingnut"):

OMG is that DAVID ADDINGTON?!?!?!  The way he subverts the Constitution is SO DREAMY!!!!!!  OMG HE’S LOOKING RIGHT ME OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE**************

The Purple Teardrop with Clutched Pearl Cluster (" for enduring the cruelest butthurt")

 Scourged by the whips of political correctness; cruelly mocked at fancy cocktail parties by apocryphal liberals who spit chardonnay in their faces and fix them with a thorny Crown of Not Agreeing With Me; and, finally, led away from their just reward to be nailed to a rugged cross of Very Mean Blog Posts with rude nails of Naughty Words - such a Passion would break lesser mortals.  But, as the bold Chickenhawk is invincible in battle, the wounded wingnut is unbroken in defeat.  Stoically putting down his parasol and hand fan, manfully gathering up his petticoats and bustle, he runs sobbing - and with a quiet dignity - from the shade of the magnolia tree to the drawing room to pen an editorial about how nasty and horrible everybody is and how his small and shell-like ears have never heard such uncouthness and wah wah wah all the fucking way home.(The Poor Man)

The Creamy Baileys Nobel Peace Prize for Science

The Soggy Biscuit  ("biggest group wank")

Whether putting out rigorous position papers in the competative, results-oriented world of a right-wing think tank; crafting powerful rhetoric for a WSJ editorial or National Review feature article; or spending hours rehashing the finer points of Vince Foster’s “suicide” on the SeanHannity.com forums; the John Galts of wingnuttia know that - while rugged individualists - they are all part of something bigger than themselves....And, like any fraternity, they know that even the most solitary, individualistic, and shameful pursuit is that much better when done as a team.(The Poor Man)

Still to come:

Wank of the Year - biggest single act of wanking of 2008

The Palme D’Haire - biggest wanker of 2008

Bonus poll:  Sadly, No! will direct you to a poll where you can vote for your favorite wingnut "Blogress"---selected without irony by the conservative pollster--- of the year.  Vote for your favorite ogress among the many, many loathly hags cited therein!

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