Jon Swift on the Black Friday Wal-Mart Stampede

by Deb Cupples |  My niece and nephew were in town for Thanksgiving, and we made our annual trek to The Mall the day after. The downside of our annual trek is the crowds -- the upside being a chance to work off one-percent of the calories I took in the day before.   At least we made it through Black Friday alive.

As you no doubt heard, a 34-year-old Long Island Wal-Mart worker named Jdimytai Damour  was not so fortunate: frenzied shoppers actually stampeded Mr. Damour and accidentally killed him on the spot.

Satirist Modest Jon Swift's commentary provides food for thought about our nation's priorities and values:

"Police in Valley Stream, New York, are reviewing videotapes to attempt to identify exuberant Black Friday shoppers who trampled to death a Wal-Mart worker who made the tragic mistake of getting between them and some very remarkable bargains. Prosecutors may even try to score cheap political points by filing criminal charges against some of these bargain hunters, who have been called “savages” and “animals” by demagogues in the liberal media.

"Of course, my heart goes out to the family of this man who was just in the wrong place at the wrong time, but while it is unfortunate that someone got hurt, capitalism is not a dinner party. There will always be some collateral damage in a free market. Socialists who hate capitalism are now trying to scapegoat these patriotic Americans who celebrated an American tradition by rising before dawn on the day after Thanksgiving to express their love of this country by partaking of the bounties of the free enterprise system. How can those of us who were not there judge people on the front lines of the Christmas shopping rush?

"Can we honestly say that we would not have rushed past or over this unfortunate man on the way to grabbing the last plasma TV or Wii to bring some Christmas joy to our children? After 9/11 President Bush said that the best way to defeat the terrorists was to 'go shopping.'

"Should we now condemn those who took him at his word? If he meant what he said, then before he leaves office President Bush should issue a blanket pardon to these high-spirited consumers to head off this assault not only on Americans who were just trying to make Christmas a little better for their families in these trying economic times but on the capitalist system itself.

"Wal-Mart shoppers who got a little carried away are not the only warriors against terrorism in danger of being hounded by prosecutors once Barack Obama assumes office. If President Bush does not act now, a number of patriotic Americans could have their lives ruined by a vengeful Obama Justice Department. In a column in The Weekly Standard (which was apparently too good to waste on The New York Times) William Kristol writes, 'Bush should consider pardoning – and should at least be vociferously praising – everyone who served in good faith in the war on terror, but whose deeds may now be susceptible to demagogic or politically inspired prosecution by some seeking to score political points.' It would indeed be tragic if Bush Administration officials who just followed orders after being assured that their harsh interrogation methods and invasions of privacy did not technically violate the Geneva Conventions or the U.S. Constitution should now be subjected to politically motivated witch hunts....

"So far President Bush has used his pardoning powers sparingly, granting pardons to a number of Texans caught up in the anti-capitalist savings & loan prosecutions of the 1980s and those targeted by environmentalist extremists who care more about a few bald eagles than hard-working families...."

You can see the rest of Jon Swift's post here and observations from my co-blogger Damozel here.

Comments

[Michael Langley]

I'm not a socialist, I did vote for Obama, and the last time I checked, stomping someone to death accidentally was manslaughter.

You are a big fucking prick full of hot air. I have never read such bull shit self serving rhetoric in my life.

I hope you get trampled in with the rest of your fucking country club pals next time your at your favorite store. The rest of us will sigh and blame it you, the victim, for being an idiot in the wrong place.

You are why this country is going to hell and a hand basket. Please fucking move!

[Buck Naked Politics]

Michael,

The man I was quoting was doing SATIRE, which is why I introduced his quote with this line:

"Satirist Modest Jon Swift's commentary provides food for thought about our nation's priorities and values:"

[AW]

What would be tragic is all these disgraceful violators of the constitution getting off scot free. "Only following orders" didn't work for the Nazis and it should not work for Bushies either. We need this so that future presidents -- including Obama -- know that they cannot get away with violating the law and disgracing the country. Bush and his minions should all spend the rest of their miserable lives in jail.